just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
