I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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