I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize