Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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