I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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