the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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