Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
