So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
