Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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