think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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