He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The uberlube is also flammable
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
