You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
