we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
