Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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