That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
