Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
