first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
