it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
