I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
