D3 body, D1 cock
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
