i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
