About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize