before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
