I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
