im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
