lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
