I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
