I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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