guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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