Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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