I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
birth control should be required to get into college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
