I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
