Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
