This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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