I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
