you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
