i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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