What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
