you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
