ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
