What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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