hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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