got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
