does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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