just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
please don't ironically join a cult
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