Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
