It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize