i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
