The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize