remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
where am i from again
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
