She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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