I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
