Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
