i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
