you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
