He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
