belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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