I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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