Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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