you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
