i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
