Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
